I have noticed that when most people describe their Postpartum Struggle, they end it with this sentence, "MY POOR HUSBAND!"
And really, our poor husbands!
They suffer through nine months of pregnancy and listen to every complaint along the way. The long await is over and we go to have the baby and they are thinking, "Yes! I finally get my wife back" and then BAM...PPS strikes and yep, wife not back.
I asked my hubby-licious (Michael) what Tips he would give to all the men/husbands out there and of course he threw out a sports analogy, "Survive and Advance." In any tournament (but especially the NCAA March Madness Basketball tourney), if a team simply survives a round and wins the game (no matter how ugly of a win), they will advance to the next round until finally they are the winner. This is kind of a sad analogy, thinking of my Mike simply "surviving" through that time, but when I think about it, I was simply surviving through that time, so why should I have expected any different from him?
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| Here is Mike, begging me to be his wife...he didn't know he should beg me to not have any postpartum problems...haha! |
Our experience with Thomas (baby #2) was completely different than our experience with Nathan (baby #3) when it comes to our relationship. Things were rocky during those first couple months with Thomas. Mike was scared. He had no idea, and I mean no idea, what was happening. He didn't know if I would get better. He didn't know if I would be "normal" again. It scared him. We didn't fight or anything, but we were distant from each other...going through the motions. With Nathan, it was much better. We leaned on each other and supported each other and even laughed through some of the high anxiety moments. I asked Mike what he thought the difference between the two were and he said, "I had no idea what was happening the first time. The second time I was prepared. I went into survive and advance mode and I knew you would get better and I just had to wait it out and support you."
So True. Cause I did get better both times.
So Mike's tip to Survive and Advance goes right along with the tip to Stay informed. Let your husbands know what is happening to you, that it is not your fault, what your recovery plan is and then show them this statement...
Your Wife Will Get Better! Hang in there Man!
-Over and Out
