Tipsy Tuesday: Why settng New Years Resolutions might be a bad idea

Did y'all have a good Christmas? (I always wanted to live in Texas... :) Ours was magical and exhausting.  "Santa" and "Santa's Helper" were putting together two complex presents on Christmas Eve late into the night and as we fell into bed, the excitement was intense. We were exhausted, but Christmas Morning squeals were worth every wrong placed screw that had to be redone (apparently we are not that great at reading instructions)!

My boys have been really into Harry Potter this Christmas Break.  Notice the cool scar on Thomas's forehead?  What a cutie...enjoying the ride on Aunt Alison's shoulders!

As the new year is upon us, it makes us all think about changing/improving.  Cute resolution printables are popping up on Pinterest/Facebook.  I have a list made in my head.  Drop some weight, lower my cholesterol (thanks Grandma for the awesome genes! :), and play with my kids more, to name a few.  I think making goals is a worthy ambition and something we should work for.  BUT I think there is an exception to that rule...if you are having a good case of any kind of Postpartum Struggle, consider NOT setting Resolutions this year.

What? Why?!?!? Shouldn't we always try to improve ourselves?  Shouldn't we be the best we can be?  Without goals, won't I just stay this miserable version of myself? Yes, yes, and Yes.  But LONG TERM GOALS are never a good idea when you are dealing with PPS and usually lead to despair/gloom and guilt.  

I like to play the example game on here.  It gives my brain a visual to help the idea stick.  So here is my sticky-visual-example-thingy.

Normal Non-PPS resolution of 2014:  I am going to plan a cute preschool to do with my toddler three times a week.  With pinterest, it will be really easy.  This will make my toddler happy and me happy. 

When Life Happens:  You have a "bad" day.  You don't get the preschool done.  You look online and see an awesome home school preschool lesson someone else did.  You die a little inside.  Guilt eats you alive.  Your a terrible mother-person because of your PPS. Your brain starts "Stinkin Thinkin" All sorts of heck breaks lose.  (Was that melodramatic or what? Scary that a thinking process like this is real.)

While the goal of doing a preschool with your toddler was a worthy ambition and you were right about the fact that it would make your toddler happy and you happy, long term/permanent goals are sometimes more harmful than helpful when you are dealing with PPS.   When your PPS heals, a long term goal like that would be just fine. Sure, you would have days where you failed to accomplish your goal, but it most likely wouldn't send you down the guilt train like a failed long term goal with PPS would. 

Do y'all get it? (yeehaw)

So, I am proposing to make the new years resolution this year to make no resolutions!  Take THAT!! cute pinterest printable!

Stick to short term goals for now.  They are our friends.  They make happiness, not guilt. 

Here is a short-term-sticky-visual

PPS short term goal: Today I feel good.  Today I am going to do preschool with my son.

PPS short term goal: I'm going to shower and get dressed.  Then I am going to go outside a let the fresh air blow in my face.

When Life Happens:  You do preschool with you son.  You feel happy.  You are a good mom. You walk outside to get the mail and stop to feel the sun for just a moment.  You take a quick shower and put some makeup on and feel much better.  Short term goal met.

Just tell those long term goals you will see them next year.   This year, give yourself a break and stick to the short-term goals. 

-Over and Out

(p.s. Have I mentioned lately that you ARE going to recover???!??!  Cause you are. Keep on Keepin on.)