Famous Friday: Featuring YOU!

Ok, so some of you have been making AWESOME comments on here and to me in person.  I feel like we can learn from each other.  One thing about PPS is it is never the exact same for one person as it is for another.  I do great on Anti-depressants; I have a friend who does awful with them.  My lil sis really learned and thrived with counseling, I have another friend who found counseling too impersonal.  Some people can't sleep and are too wired up, some people can't get out of bed!  So, I am very thankful for everybody's comments.  Perhaps one of your suggestions/tips is just what somebody else needs to know/feel/think about.

So today, I thought I would feature the most fabulously famous people I know, YOU!

Here are a bunch of comments that perhaps you missed as you were reading the posts.  They were too good to just pass up!.

Welcome to the group Girlies!

"Another important thing to realize is that every postpartum experience is different. I had no problems postpartum with baby #1. Baby #2 PPD reared it's ugly head. Baby #3 nothing but baby #4 was the pit of despair. I actually wanted another baby because I just didn't want baby #4 to be my last newborn experience. I also have crazy high risk pregnancies that got more dramatic with each baby. I tried to convince hubby that I only had PPD with even numbered babies, so we were good to have another. He was not convinced. My recovery with #4 took so long and I was not the parent my other children needed, so after much prayer we decided that it was OK to be done and I needed to focus on the babies I had managed to get here safely"

Judi: Thanks Amber for posting that.  It totally surprised me when I did so bad with baby #2.  I figured I would be a pro since it was my second baby, so I was taken back when I struggled so badly. 

(in reference to sleeping with a heating pad) "I'm still obsessed with my mattress pad heater (the dual control is a must for husbands who like to keep their sheets freezing cold). It was so nice to have this time around since it's a bit chillier this time of year. Sometimes I'd turn it on before I got up to feed my baby so my bed was already pre-warmed by the time I got back (so I could fall back asleep almost instantly). It was FANTASTIC. Best $100 I ever spent. Here's a link to the one I bought: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ZSHDEK/ref=as_li_tf_il?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B003ZSHDEK&linkCode=as2&tag=listhelazblo-2" 

Judi: Thanks Lisa, great tip!

(In reference to dealing with negative thoughts about things we are actually bad at...like laundry!) "I just ask myself, does it matter if I am good at it?  Does it matter if I am good at folding laundry? No.  Life will go on, I can still be a good human being without being awesome and X, Y, Z."

Judi: Such a great idea, Joni.  I really like this.  Some things just don't matter that much.  If it doesn't matter, don't stress over it or beat yoursefl up because of it.  

"I got stuck in the "over-generalization" pattern. I thought that things would "never" get better. Once I figured out what was going on with PPD; I wanted a steady climb out of the darkness. I wasn't ready for the two steps forward, one step back. In my head, every bad day after a better day meant I was back at square one; that I had made no progress; that I was failing. I had to learn that even bad days were not backward progress. A bad day meant holding on right where I was until I was ready to move forward again. My mantra became "Heavenly Father sent them (my kids) to me so there must be a way for me to do this, just as I am." 

Judi: I totally love this.  I tend to do this if I have a bad day.  I figure all progress is lost.  I am now going to see my bad days as holding steady days!

(also in refernece to dealing with bad thoughts that are true) "If I CAN'T control it, why worry about it? And if I CAN control it, what can I do, and what am I waiting for?" I used to get so envious reading blogs--I felt terrible after reading them, feeling so "less than." Then one day I realized that envy is such a wasted emotion (not to mention a waste of energy, a precious resource as a mom). Even though I can't control everything about my life, there's so much I can control and my happiness is ultimately up to me. I focus my energy on the things in my life that I want to change and start working on that!"

Judi: Lisa, you are totally awesome (and famous too)

I didn't dare share some of the other comments, I was worried they were too personal, BUT thank you ladies for giving such great advice.  What I love is that some of your advice has totally been helping me!  Go figure :)

Thanks for being fabulously famous! 




 

Famous Friday

Meet Marie Osmond: A big advocate of Postpartum Depression, a great entertainer, and mother of eight!

Marie: Hi, I'm Marie, and I had Postpartum Depression.

All of us: Hi Marie!

Judi:  One of the interesting thing about PPD is that usually you think the person is fine and has it all together.  You always seemed to have it all together.

Marie:  You know, one of the interesting things that I have found, it almost makes me emotional, is women have [this attitude of] "I can do it. I'm fine. I'm good. I'm strong. You know, I'm doing great. No problem." (Taken from interview here.)



Judi: Yeah, it is really hard to admit that something is not right.


Marie: [Women] deny the core feeling inside of them and I really believe that there are men out there, they know their wife isn't fine. They know that she is struggling, and when she pushes them away they feel hurt. And so they go away and she feels hurt it develops this whole thing, whereas I really believe if we could just speak honestly about it, and I really believe it does cause a form of depression in men.

Judi: Thanks for bringing that up, Marie.  I think we don't give our husbands enough credit for what they go through when we struggle.  It is scary for them and also depressing to see their wives this way.  I think if we as women talked about it more, it wouldn't feel so daunting for our husbands.

Marie: [Yeah] I think it is something that has brought shame, and guilt. This is one of the factors of it. It makes you feel helpless. It makes you feel like you don't even belong in your own life. You weep, you cry, you have no joy. I mean it is the most devastating thing that I have ever been through. I'm a pretty tough woman...and I literally could find nothing that resembled my life.


Judi: This is a theme we seem to see with everyone.  That "shame" word.  Shame on you Shame word! If you give all of us some advice, what would you say?

Marie: [Self Love] What I'm talking about is self love. Even in the Commandments, it says to love thy neighbor as thyself, not to love thy neighbor more than thyself. And I think that's what happened. I just -- I beat myself up so bad inside, and I think that's what a lot of women do.

Judi: It is hard as a mom because we don't get a lot of positive feedback, ya know?  So I totally agree.  Self love. That is going to be my theme this weekend.  MORE SELF LOVE.

Thanks Marie!  Welcome to our Support Group!

Famous Friday: Brooke Shields

Meet Brooke Shields, Model, Beauttttty, and Postpartum Depression Survivor

Welcome to our support group, Brooke! 

Brooke:  Hi, I'm Brooke and I have Postpartum Depression

All: Hi, Brooke!

Judi:  So Brooke, How bad did it get?

Brooke: "I really didn't want to live anymore," During this time, simply seeing a window was enough to prompt [me] to think, "'I just want to leap out of my life,' but then the rational side of me [would say], 'You're only on the fourth floor. You'll get broken to bits and then you will be even worse.'"  (interview taken from webmd  here.)

Judi: Wow, that is so sad, I am really sorry you had to go through that.  

Brooke: "Chris (my husband) would say, 'Oh, my God, she's crying,' and I would respond, 'Yeah, baby. She's crying. I wonder what she wants?' It was like this weird alien overtook my body and every appropriate response was answered with the antithesis of what you would assume."

Judi: I think we have all felt that disconnect from the world feeling.  Yuck, not a fun feeling. 

Brooke: "The scars for me are gaining peoples' trust again, and not feeling the need to bound through my life as 'happy camper lady' to prove how I can do it all and am really happy and it was just a phase"

Judi: Oh how I hate this.  I don't like when people think you about to go "kung fu panda" crazy on them.  I know what you mean , Brooke!

Brooke: "There is a really unfortunate and not-so-pretty part of going through something like this, and nobody wants to admit it, so I figured let me just blow the lid off this, and hopefully it will be able to speak to somebody."

Judi: The more people who speak up, the more knowledge there will be, the stronger we will all become!

Thanks Brooke.  Welcome to our Support Group.