Tipsy Tuesday: For the Love of Visitors

So I was talking to my Sister the other day and she mentioned how she had her in-laws and brother-in-law and family visiting for about 5 days and how it was extremely fun, but how she struggled with her Postpartum Rage and Postpartum Anxiety while they were there and it got me thinking, because I often have visitors (a lot of our family live far away and so they come and visit us and stay with us...especially after we have had a baby) and while it is really fun to see family and host them, it is also more difficult when you are dealing with your PPS. 

So today for our "Tipsy Tuesday" I am going to focus in on keeping your PPS in check while hosting visitors or while going to visit family/vacation.

Having visitors at any time can add more stress (more dishes, more laundry, less sleep ect.) but having visitors when you are either depressed or anxious or well...struggling can be difficult, but here are some tips that have made having visitors after my babies enjoyable!


1.  Use Your Baby as the Scapegoat.  When I have visitors, if I ever feel overwhelmed, anxious, nervous, sad, or any other crazy emotion, I use my baby as an excuse to escape.  I will say, "I am going to go feed the baby"  and escape to my room and breath, kiss my newborn, and unwind.  When I feel like I am more in control, I emerge happy and ready to go.   Newborns need so much attention that they are great to use as Scapegoats.  From feeding to bathing to changing, there is always something that you could use to excuse yourself and escape for a minute..or an hour :)

2.   Enlist their help.  Especially if they are coming to visit you and your new baby, it probably means they WANT to see the baby and love on him/her.  Ask if they wouldn't mind taking a shift with the baby in the night.  They might even think that sounds fun to spend alone time with the baby.   Ask them to take the older children on an outing to get them out of your hair.  Let's face it, the older kids feel neglected anyway, so it is a win-win.  Either way, they probably want to help, so don't be afraid to ask and don't assume they know what you need.  They can't read your mind...and maybe it is a good thing they can't, they might see all your wild PPS thoughts flying around in there!

Christmas 2007...this was only a few weeks after William (baby #1) was born and I was VERY anxious to be away from home with him so little.  I wish I could yell at myself to RELAX in this picture.  ha :)

3.    Keep your Priorities Straight.   When you are going to visit someone else (or when they are visiting you), it is easy to have a relapse.  I always get less sleep (who wants to go to bed and leave the party behind?) and because we are busy doing stuff, it is easy to forget to take my medicine.  I have to remind myself, no matter what I must make sleep a priority and taking my meds a priority.  Decide what is important for you.  Is is exercise? sleep? regular meds? alone time? time to sort through your thoughts?  Whatever it is, make sure you take time to accomplish these even while visiting family.  No one wants to see you have a "bad" day :)

4.  Paper goods, Paper goods, Paper goods.  Before I had Nathan I decided to get some paper goods.  SAVED MY LIFE.  We had quite a few visitors and it was so nice to not have a million dishes to worry about.  I was worried it might be really expensive to use paper goods for that first couple weeks, but it really wasn't that bad.  I bought the cheapest ones I could find and I left them on the counter and encouraged everybody to only use paper.  Even now (like for Christmas) when I know I have a lot of visitors coming, I stock up on some paper goods. If it lowers your anxiety/stress level, than I am ALL for it! Try to make things as simple as possible. You can be a Martha Stewart type host when you aren't dealing with this anymore (and trust me, there will be a day when you aren't dealing with it anymore!)

5.  Relax.  Give yourself a break.  You are not the host, you just had a baby, and feel free to remind that to others as well...just be like, "Yo Homey, remember how I grew A HUMAN BEING and PUSHED them out of an IMPOSSIBLE place?  Yeah, I might not have fresh sheets on the guest bed. Sorry ;) ha.


Overall, we LOVE family and visitors.  What would life be like without family to laugh with and love.  Enlist your visitors help, keep your priorities straight, realize when you need to take a moment to unwind/escape, and then relax, laugh, and enjoy the company.

- Happy Visiting!