What IS Postpartum Depression?

So we are a few months in, here at PPS, and I have yet to post about exactly what postpartum depression/anxiety/ocd/ptsd/psychosis are.  I think I am scared to write anything medical.  I am afraid I will steer someone in the wrong direction.  But, I think it is time to write it out, because many people are misinformed. I have done as much research as possible and added in my own experiences to come up with this...

Here I am,  20 years old when Postpartum Struggles never even crossed my mind! (shout out to Brit and Rach...two awesome friends!)

Enter young 20 year old Judi.  I thought Postpartum Depression was some weird thing where you couldn't stand your baby.  I thought it meant you were depressed and didn't want anything to do with your baby.  "How sad," I thought.  "That would never happen to me.  I would love my baby no matter what."  I had two  problems happening here.  #1 Although this phenomenon of a disconnect with your baby does happen to some with PPD, I think it is actually not that common.   PPD and postpartum struggles in general have MANY different signs/symptoms and I think that is why is goes undiagnosed a lot.  #2 How could I possibly think that I would be exempt from this.  What am I? Some supernatural human being.  If you are going to/or have had babies...you just put yourself in the category of "Likely to suffer with some sort of Postpartum Struggle."   It is something like 1 in every 8 moms have PPD (I personally think that is an understatement...a lot of people go undiagnosed.)

Ok, so let discuss it.

What IS Postpartum Depression?

Have you ever heard of the Baby Blues?  I bet you almost EVERY WOMAN who has ever given birth experiences the baby blues.  "Baby Blues" are mild blues, usually the first couple weeks after giving birth.  These are the feelings of "Wow, this is hard" as you are recovering from birth, taking care of a demanding newborn and possibly other children, getting engorged, tired, tired, tired, sore, sore, and more sore, and tired!  Whenever any of my 6 sisters or I have a baby, my mom always says, "If you can just make it two weeks!"  That is because the first two-three weeks are hard and you probably feel down or "blue."

Postpartum Depression (I am not talking anxiety/ocd ect. here...just Depression) is more than that.  It is a continuation of this, but more intense.  Here are some signs/symptoms.  You do not need to have every symptom. In fact, you might only have a few. 

1. Feeling things are hopeless (like "I will never be good at this mom thing, I can't do this!")
2. Really moody/tearful (crying over EVERYTHING) or feeling nothing, numbness...like you are just going through the motions.
3. Finding no pleasure in things you use to love to do.
4. Changes in appetite or weight (like you never want to eat, or the only thing that makes you feel better is eating!).
5. Extreme fatigue (not just from being up with baby) and no energy.
6. Feelings of guilt (example: I am a terrible mom, everybody is a better mom than me, I can't do this!)
7. Feeling worthless as a human being or a mom.
8. Difficulty concentrating or making decisions (Your husband might point this one out to you as you might not realize you are doing it.) Not remembering what you were doing or having people talk to you and you not realize it.
9. Scary thoughts (like you might hurt someone or do something  harmful...even if you don't act upon it).  Like you have no control of your thoughts.
10. Slower (or more rapid) speech.   You might be restless or lethargic.
11. Feeling like your life is over and the "old you" is gone forever.
12. Never wanting to leave the house or see anyone.
13. Anxiety
14. Trouble sleeping.
15. Rage over things that didn't use to bother you. Resentment and Anger towards others who do not have babies.
16. Feeling as if you are not connected with your baby.
17. Feeling like you can't "snap out of it" and get back to normal life. 
18. Deep down you know you are not doing very good, but afraid to admit it in fear that others (maybe even people close to you, like your spouse) will judge you.
19. Feel as if you are living in a fog.
20. Actual Physical symptoms.  You are literally sick and hurt.

So now you know.  There you go, Postpartum Depression broken up into 20 symptoms. Are you thinking, "How did you know exactly how I feel?"  Then, yep, you've got it girl!  Now, go call your doctor, send me an email, and let's get you better :)

Next Up: Postpartum Anxiety!