Guest Post from Millie: "I Love Crazy!"

Thanks again Millie!  You have great ideas!  If you missed her first posts, look here and here.  Luv ya!

So if you haven't noticed, Frozen really spoke to us around here.  Judi's already written about "Let it go" and her connection with Elsa.  Well I'm her little sister with red hair.  Is it any wonder that I identified with Anna?  Well, I did.


At the beginning of the movie she meets Prince Hans and they quickly fall in love.  I love the musical number they sing.  Well at one point she says, "Can I say something crazy?"  and he responds, "I love crazy!"

My husband and I looked at each other and we laughed so hard.  Around here, that has been our catch phrase.  And not because of Frozen.  I've been saying it since counseling.  For some reason expressing your crazy thoughts seems easier if you say, "Can I say something crazy?"

we love crazy, can't you tell?

Like I said in my last post, it's important to get your feelings out.  For me, it's easier to get rid of my intrusive thoughts if I just say them out loud.   It's easier to deal with my anxiety when people around me know I'm anxious.  It's easier to fall asleep once I say to my husband, "I can't sleep."  And it's easier to calm down when I'm mad when I talk about why I'm mad - and I realize I'm not actually mad, but something else, usually anxious.

So why does the "Can I say something crazy" help?  Sometimes what comes out of my mouth next really is crazy.  Can you imagine how scared your husband would be if you just said something crazy, and didn't acknowledge that it was crazy?  Let me tell you; they would be very afraid.  They don't know if you're really going crazy, are going to be crazy forever, or ok with the crazy.  Sometimes I have the same fear.  So in the same moment that you are getting your feelings out, you are acknowledging that you know it's a crazy feeling.

For example; one of my greatest fears is that Robert will walk in one day and say he hates me, has always hated me and wants to leave me but he won't do that because he's a good man and won't abandon his family.  I have spent way too much energy worrying about it.  So one day I want-to-hear-something-crazied him and guess what?  He laughed.  And I laughed.  All the tension around that thought that made me worried was dispelled.  Then Robert was able to tell me that yes, that was a crazy thought, he loves me, has always loved me, and he'd never leave me because I was his one true love.  And he asked what he could do to help me not worry.  (The answer: more open communication)

how could I really worry that he never loved me?  Crazy!

Another example; shortly after Georgia was born she stopped nursing, mostly because of Jaundice.  But before we realized it was the jaundice, I was so worried that I had caused her to stop nursing.  I thought I had ruined her because I had given her a binky.  I thought it was all my fault.  That thought kept rolling around my head.  I was so frustrated, so sad, so emotional (so three days post-partum).  So what did I do?  I called Judi and said, "I know this is crazy, but I feel like it's all my fault that Georgia isn't nursing, I've ruined her."  What did Judi do?  Acknowledged the crazy, sympathized with me about the feeling, and asked what she could do to help. (answer: remind me that even if she never nursed again, life would be ok)

Sweet Georgia drinking her bottle until the jaundice was gone and she was strong enough to nurse again.

So what's my tip to help get your emotions out?
-Acknowledge that your feeling is maybe not the most rational.
-Acknowledge that while your feeling is maybe not rational, you are having those feelings.
-Tell others how you need them to respond.  For example; I need validation, I need help solving the problem, I need a plan, I just need to be heard.

Try it, I promise it will help.
And remember, if you can admit you're crazy, you probably aren't that crazy.  At least, that's what I keep telling myself...