1. I just felt like I had nothing else worth while to say.
2. I got pregnant and was Morning (all-day) sick.
I can't guarantee that I will write consistently (or that you will care), but I have had a topic on my mind so much so that I just have to spit it out on paper. Yep.
I am 25 weeks pregnant with baby boy #4. We are beyond excited and can't believe it is another BOY, but we love craziness, so we will welcome another bundle of blue. Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy/stupid to have more kids when I struggle with all the hormones and the postpartum junk. I bet there are people/friends/associates/family who wonder the same thing. They are probably thinking, "So, you must really be crazy to do this again willingly."
And to some degree, you have to be wild to have any children at all, ya know? But...a moment of pain/suffering (that sometimes feels as if it is an eternal moment) in the eternal scheme of things is worth it to bring another love of my life to this world.
So enough sappiness. What is my soap box topic today?
I get down when I am pregnant. I hate to use the word depressed. That just feels so depressing to say that. So, I just say I get discouraged. Pregnancy is long and hard, but beyond that, I know that my hormones work against me and I become chemically imbalanced and sometimes the discouragement is big time. I have struggled with this every pregnancy but have never admitted it for what it is (the "D" word...depression). I have done better this pregnancy than ever before and I have been contemplating why that is.
I have Googled "prenatal depression" a gazillion times hoping to find some cure. There is no cure (and surprisingly not very many suggestions or info.) So I am writing my own suggestions for two reasons.
1. So that I have my game plan in place and can remember my suggestions in the next 15 weeks.
2. So possibly somebody else can benifit from what it has taken me 40 wks + 40 wks + 40 wks + 25 wks = 145 wks to discover. (that is a LONG time to have been pregnant for!)
Judi's tips to naturally fight Prenatal and Postpartum Depression
1. Live in the now. I have written about this one a lot, but it is still consistently the best natural thing I have found to fight depression or anxiety. If I start thinking about anything too far in the future, I start to get really discouraged. That is when the "I can't" statements start to fly. "I can't do it." "I will never make it." "I can't get out of bed." "I can't be happy." I use "Right Now" thoughts instead. "Right now I am at the grocery store shopping, grapes are only 99 cents a lb, Sweet!" "Right now I am making dinner and starving so I am glad to be making dinner." If my mind starts to inch forward to the future, I stop it immediately. I cannot and will not think too far into the future (like never beyond next week). Future thoughts = panic thoughts. When dealing with PPD or PPA, fight to stay in the now at all times. I know it will make a HUGE difference. I could probably talk about the amazingness of this one for an hour...but I will leave it at that.
2. Find a positive person. Find someone you enjoy visiting with and use them for a pick-me-up. When I am having a really discouraging day and the future/depressive thoughts start to fly, I call a sister/mom/friend and visit...but not about how I am feeling. I listen to them talk, we laugh about something our kids did, we talk about nothing in particular (a movie we liked, something ridiculous we saw on Facebook) and even though the whole time I want to break down crying and tell them all my pathetic woes, I resist. BECAUSE, every time I get done talking, even if we haven't mentioned how I am feeling even once, I feel better. I leave the conversation ready to get back in the action of life.
3. Laugh at yourself. Sometimes I say what is bringing me down right out loud (sometimes I can't pinpoint it, but I say out loud the ugly thoughts going through my mind) and exaggerate them. "I must be the fattest pregnant person to ever walk the existence of the planet" "The glass castle could of been written about me I am such a bad mom today" and then I imagine I am listening to myself say those things and I laugh...because they are ridiculous, and then I smile and move on.
4. Complain to yourself. I learned this one from my dear hubby. He is a very positive person. He's pretty blessed in that department. He doesn't enjoy complaining, especially exaggerated complaining. So...sometimes I complain to myself. I go on Facebook, type up a "woe is me" Facebook status and then I erase it. It is liberating to complain to the world, but actually not post it to the world. I call it "complaining to yourself."
5. Grit your teeth and make it. Somedays are bad. Don't freak out and think your whole life is bad, Grit your teeth and make it till tomorrow. There is truth in the song, "The sun will come out, tomorrow."
This is my "prenatal discouragement game plan" and guess what, IT HAS BEEN WORKING!
I am a blessed mama to get to have another sweet baby. I hope you realize your blessing too and if today is a bad day, just grit your teeth and make it.
This was awesome to read! Way to work on keeping yourself up when you're feeling down. You're amazing, Judi! :)
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